For Chrissy Teigen, what began as a happy moment in time has turned into a painful memory.
As she mourns the loss of her son Jack — who was due to be born this week before Teigen suffered a pregnancy loss in September — the ever-candid star took to Instagram on Thursday, Feb. 4 with photos from the music video shoot in Mexico for John Legend‘s “Wild.” As fans may remember, the couple revealed they were expecting again at the end of the personal music video, which was released in August 2020.
“I was 10 weeks along and out of my mind happy,” she recalled of that special time in her recent Instagram post. “I knew the video would take a bit to get together so thought it would be cute to share our news with the world through the ol classic hand on belly trick at the end. I could have never imagined what would happen over the next 10 weeks.”
In late September, Teigen was hospitalized after experiencing continuous bleeding. Mere days later, she shared the news of the family’s devastating loss and revealed they had called the baby boy Jack.
“Not sure I’ll ever be able to watch that video again without sobbing,” Teigen said of the music video in her new post, “but I hope he feels my tears and knows we miss him so. He would have been here any day now – if he were like Luna and Miles, I’d probably be holding him as we speak. I am so full of regret that I didn’t look at his face when he was born. I was so scared of seeing him in my nightmares that I forgot about seeing him in my dreams. I hurt every day from that remorse.”
Teigen continued to open up about how she’s been feeling during the week he was scheduled to be born. “This month is a rough reminder and to be honest, I thought the worst was over but I guess life and emotions aren’t on any sort of schedule,” she wrote. “Love you guys to pieces and am grateful for all your support and love. I firmly believe energy and healing travels through the night sky and I feel it, I promise I do.”
The mourning mom signed off with a message for her beloved son. “I love you jack,” she said. “I miss you so so much.”